The calm on my face is an ongoing sin, A sin most people don’t see because I wear a mask. I don’t know when I’m sad or happy because everything seems out of control this days. I have this ambivalent dilutions of whether this or that or him or her Is here or happening.
This ache in my soul rips my gut, my skin is on fire I burn from within. Hiding the tears that fall like rain saying I’m fine when I’m anything but… my life is swallowed by unending tears and fears of tomorrow. Here I wait for someone to notice I wear a mask. This sorrow never seems to end.
Scattered throughout my life like a friend who’s never there, bad days in time are meant to happen. Bad memories trailing behind for if we didn’t experience the worst we couldn’t recognize the best. For this days are necessary,just as important as the rest. Everybody has things they wish not to recall for into each life, Some rain must fall.
I may have the prettiest eyes that have seen more than they should,the kindest heart but that came with a cost, it has felt the worst of pain and experienced the greatest loss. Late in the night I cannot sleep still thinking about the innocence that is no longer mine to keep. I cannot change the past but I can focus on the present and change what is to come .
When I see the sunshine after the rain my heart melts away and my smile could knock one out because even when I wear the mask I still feel the energy of belonging and living the best I can. Hurt and pain in it but there’s so much more to gain .
We weep and we plead to be loved by those who care leads about us and that’s why we need us to remove our own masks even though we have scars that might feel frightening showing. We belong in the present and our joy and happiness belongs right here in this very moment to the next.Show who you are and cast off the mask.
P.s ?Lilian Ng’endo ?