If Love….Felt The Same…
Most love stories are about people that fall in love with each other. What about the rest of us, the ones that fall in love alone, the restless ones, the victims of unrequited love. The handicapped that advanced of great parking spaces, the walking wounded. Us that love defeats in so many ways.
If love was evocative would we know what to ask from it? or talk to it? What if we want to be loved differently in a more halcyon way.
I guess love has no choice. It rips you down till you feel like letting your guard down.
I know of a girl that loved honestly without a doubt.She gave her all because to her it was such a quiescent feeling. She didn’t realize she was getting hurt by the love that didn’t seem there. She gave herself so many chances of doing her best in order to be loved the same in return. She never knew love decrepits too.
Many are the times she got angry with herself,for letting her soul believe she wasn’t good enough just for this one guy. Her grimace exploded within her. Why did she say the words first? why did she want approval of a love that was never there. For a lover that felt like he was forced to say the words back in return. It was repulsive and maladroit.She thought 💭
She wanted to believe the guy loved her the same way but he didn’t.He played along because he was scared of hurting her damaged soul. A soul of a young girl that knew nothing about this cruel love that people fake for the good benefit of intimacy. It was rancid and it made the girl dig her own grave and her mind floated within grey clouds. They then broke up because the guy said he didn’t feel it anymore and he wouldn’t risk helping the girl find the right path.
Then she understood the true meaning of unrequited Love.A love where your all alone.A love where the other one doesn’t exist in the equation. She got to witness how it felt and she was s victim of her own sorrows and pain. ”Love does hurt but it didn’t have to end this way.” she said but then then remembered words of the wise writer Kilroy.J Oldster that said….
“We cannot achieve personal enlightenment-a clarification of our souls-until we cease deluding ourselves.We must accept that life includes witnessing and personally experiencing pain.”
She was haunted by a painful desire for him, like the thirst of a voyageur in the desert. Her feelings burst. Regret Panged within her for saying the “I LOVE YOU WORDS FIRST.” Her feelings rose like a lover’s body but she waited for the whole morass to settle inside her as she lay her head on the pillow and promised not to destroy her soul again and the words goodbye lover echoed silently in her dark cold room.
N/B….this is a story of a lover I once gave my heart too and it just feels so nice to let it out now because I was still tied up in the dilemma of him being in my life and it just took me time to realize that I didn’t need him at all in order for me to get to where I am.If you ever get to read this, know that I loved you honestly and I hope you will learn to love the right girl honestly too.
I hope you don’t fall out of love with her. Love her and mean it this time. You made me stronger and you gave me a purpose too. Here or in the next life, I wish you overflowing happiness. Thank you♥️
P.s.Lilian Ng’endo Wangari ♥️🥀