I am yet just another soul. Like you. Exprienced good and bad days, and more often I sit in my cold dark room, troubled and stressed out of my mind. I wish to die and somtimes wish I never existed at all. I cry like a child, knowing no shame and sometime no reason at all.
See I know that I am a good person deep inside. And thats what I try to reflect outwards. I’ll be kind to you so please be kind to me. Its the least of things you could give me-yes your kindness! It will lighen up my mood and take down most of my burdens I never knew I had on my back. I will once again feel alive and smile for a second. Knowing that someone cares and loves me. So I’ll take a step foward, open up my arms and wrap them around you in love too.
And I’ll open myself up to you too. And share with you my deepest fears, scariest horrors in my mind and my sorrows. Those that haunt me at night when everyone is deep asleep at 3 a.m. I’ll tell you my problems, not expecting you to help me in all of them. But just desperate for an ear. Someone to listen to me and relieve me half my pain.
Be there for me and I’ll sit down with you in your verandar, smoking cigarettes on moderation-one at a time. We’ll havs beer too, in our hands. Because then, only us understand us. And laugh out loud to our own jokes cause only us understand our sense of humour. Neighbours we’l say we are crazy and people we’ll think we have mental illness. Yes we do.
Whose not mentally ill in this crazy world? Just because they behave sane doesn’t make them sane. Or different from us. I tell you they are far more worse than us. For they don’t even know they are ill. Suffering from job stress and compulsive shopping. They are unhappy behind the fake lives they demonstrate.
We’ll go to sleep at 2 and wake up at noon. And they’ll think we’re waste time. How do you waste time if you enjoyed wasting it? If in each minute you felt alive and in the moment. Because besides you and with you is the only person you care about in this world. They alone matter to you and are your all reasons to be alive. They don’t deny you of their laughter and self.
Together you read books; of literature, philosophy and fictions. Any great book you could lay your hands on. They send you gifts of their annotated favourite books-sharing with you every thoughts and how they felt had at each point. Mad or have fallen in love with particular characters. Pages black with scribbles.
We know theories and are mastering techniques, but we know too, that when we touch another soul, we be just another soul. So we’ll hold your hand and dance with you gently to the slow sweet music playing. To the
Gentle and deep intrumentals of Lorne Balf’s everybody is a genius or forbiden love. And Hans Zimmer’s Time too.
I will love you even in your darkest moments and be there for you. Even when my soul trembles, I will know that your trembles too and we’ll sit and calm one another. Rocking us to sleep.