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Daddy issue

If it were not for the series of events, that not only brought down but burnt to ash the nativity of my youth; then I would still be mellowed out in oblivion for the phrase.
In some ways I’m still gathering ingredients for this metaphorical pie, in proving how easy it is to get over it. But I’ve learned that patience has its own brand of beauty, which is appreciated in hindsight.

Onto the elephant. You would laugh and I wouldn’t hold it against you because I realized just how deep in the pit I was, in the middle of trying an upsell to a potential recruiter. A simple question of ‘how do you fit into this company’, set me up on self destruct mode as I whined on about TMI dead end pursuits that I hadn’t been able to shake off.

The response? How about I write about sobering experiences.
That said, I remember catching onto my now obvious need for validation but for the life of me I couldn’t stop my mouth from talking. What looked like indecision had a deeper root of brokenness which I felt a sudden urgency to hide.

It was this Aha! Moment while half listening to the supposed deduction and solution that the phrase that had been dancing at the tip of my tongue in a recent past clicked in my head. In full view of it, I could barely gasp in shock. Freeing: I would later put it.
Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the holy spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently. Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever. 1 Peter 1:22-23

I’ve been scratching my head over these past few minutes as I tried to explain this assurance. It’s a knowing, that you are confident of God’s love for you. It’s my best attempt for now. Quite frankly, God’s love is the only validation you will ever need. I’ve literally had moment(s) when I jumped into any bus holding up a destination purpose placard and the only thing I got out of it was a tired mind, erratic emotions and an uncontrollable will.

People will approve you for as long as you are producing what they like. Belief is critical for the scriptures to take effect let alone give us any solace. Therefore once we believe each sentence, phrase for the truth that it is, then the word ceases to be an empty rhetoric and his word comes fully alive.
We love him because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19

Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask because we obey his commands and do what pleases him. And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us. 1 John 3:21-24

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