Someone once said, “self-confidence is the most attractive quality a person can have. How can anyone see how great you are if you can’t see it for yourself”. But, really, how can you see how great you are? How can you open your own eyes and discover how one-in-a-billion person you are, in a world where everyone is trying to turn each of us into someone else? It is particularly difficult to be that flower who doesn’t compare itself with other flowers and just blooms how it wants and by itself, when it makes its ability to bloom dependent on how the other flowers are doing.
The main reason why many of us are suffering from lack of self-confidence is because instead of channelling our energy on what we have to do in order to gain and exercise our self-esteem, instead of pushing ourselves to do what we’re most afraid to do and trying to discover something new, we bound ourselves in a corner, taking comfort in the usual setting of our lives rather than looking forward to how different and exciting our lives would be if we’ll only try.
Like any talent or skill, confidence too, needs practice. As young people who’re just about to enter adulthood, we are all initially intimidated by people who seem to have it all figured out regardless of their age. But sooner or later, the realization that you should not be under any pressure to keep up with everyone else will be clearer to you and you will naturally understand that we are all leading a different path, sailing on a course of different timelines. And so, you should not let other people’s words and status in life dictate your perception of yourself.
Here are some tips on how you can help yourself be more confident wearing your own shoes:
STOP COMPARING
It’s so hard to love your own when you prefer another, right? as soon as I see someone else doing and having something similar with what I have, but somewhat better, I am immediately filled with insecurity—because who isn’t? BUT, the things is, as soon as I feel the insecurity creeping in, I close my eyes and I do my best to remind myself that it is I who has the ability to make the most or the best of what I have.
We are all incapable of not comparing, but we can all stop as soon as it begins. The moment you start comparing, remember you should not be in competition with someone else, only with your past self. You are not expected to better than everyone, you’re expected to outdo only yourself.
STOP FANTASIZING ABOUT YOUR POTENTIALS, WORK ON IT
Stop daydreaming about the life you want to live and the things you want to do, instead, exercise it. Work on it. Stop holding yourself back. There is nothing limiting what you can and can’t do but yourself. Turn your intentions and visions into actions. Try the things you have always wanted to do. Try new things as often as you can and take pride in what you have accomplished for that day no matter how big or small, and confidence will flourish along the way as you go.
TRASH YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS
Meditate and be honest with yourself. What are the things you do not like about you? What limits you? What holds you back? Once you figure out the names of your demons, cast them out. Exorcise them one by one, by proving them wrong. Live the life you want to live and start by doing something you have always wanted to try even if you are incapable of doing such. Once the task is done, successful or not, you will find the courage to keep trying and the courage to face failure if it means you get to free yourself from the leash of the limitations you’ve put around your own neck.
KNOW YOUR STRENGTHS
Know where you are good at and keep doing it. Boost your confidence by doing something you know you are good at whether it’s a skill or something that has to do with your personal life. Being confident in one area of your life will prop you in other areas where you are less sure.
KEEP IN MIND THAT YOU ARE THE BOSS OF YOUR OWN LIFE
Your life is yours, do not forget that. Do not allow other people’s opinions change the course of your life. People’s reaction should not concern you. They can only see from the outside, but they have no idea what’s really going on inside you. It’s you who face and fight the battles fought and won within, only you. So why let people who have no contribution in helping you reach where you are to dictate you? Only you have your own best interest in heart. Therefore, it is you who knows what’s best for you. Start trusting your own decisions, because the more you do, the less you’ll care about other people’s opinions.
ACCEPT YOUR FLAWS
Accept that like everyone else, you too are not perfect. And it’s okay. We are all flawed differently, but that doesn’t make us less human. Flaws are proof we are human. If anything, we shouldn’t dwell on our flaws; instead, focus on the fact that despite being flawed, God still gave us the ability to do great, to excel. Once we accept our flaws, we can start moving past them and no one will have the power to use them against us.
SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO WILL HELP YOU GROW AND GET RID OF THE PEOPLE WHO ARE CONSTANTLY BRINGING YOU DOWN
It is hard to love yourself when you are surrounded by people who are making you feel unlovable or are making you feel as if you are hard to love. Other than making you feel unloved, these people are also robbing you of the chance to believe in yourself because they are constantly undermining you, making you question your own decisions and abilities. You have to surround yourself with people who will support and encourage you no matter what the outcome of your decision and action is. We need people who will push us to take a step forward when we keep taking a few steps back.
CELEBRATE YOUR LIFE
Start by making a mental or physical list of all the things you are grateful for in your life, you will be amazed at how much this will easily help you develop a positive outlook in life. This will put things into perspective, will make you realize the bigger picture and will help you see that the things you worry about are irrelevant because you have so much to be thankful for. You will be less worried about where you’ll be heading and will start trusting yourself more. This will help have a good and healthy relationship with yourself. You will start celebrating you more every day, because you will see that no matter how many you think your setbacks are, they will still not compare to the things you are blessed of.
