If I Went Back to Primary School Debate today…

If I went back to a primary school debate today, I would be like…

Thank you Mr. Chairman for granting me the chance to air out my views about the motion which is already written on the blackboard. Proposers, opposers and the audience at large.

First and foremost, let me begin by saying that I pity people who still think the boy is a mediocre, I really do.

They claim he is a rogue, a ghetto yuti, a useless brat who is after popularity, an amateur in politics, brah, brah, brah…

How about we take a look at his achievements so far?

To begin with, he beat the odds and did as promised, “took the ghetto to parliament.” If you think that’s easy to do ask his sidekick turned nemesis, Butcher Man. Butcher Man has failed to dethrone Omubanda Wa Kabaka fair and square even when he has those money bags from the state which the ghetto people love so much.

The boy from Magere has managed to convince the world at large that someone can be born and raised in a slum and manage to rise to presidency of a country dubbed ‘The Pearl of Africa.’ He’s become a true definition of the allegory of ‘From rugs to riches.’

And trivial but proverbial achievements of this boy include but are not limited to;
– Winning all social media battles against all the powers that be. Most notably the recent battle where the first son was forced to swallow his vomit and delete that infamous tweet.
– He was a rastafarian but managed to sweep a reverend’s daughter off her feet. Ankore now calls him son-in-law. If you think that’s not achievement ask Edrisa Musuza why he’s the president of the Semyekozos.

Let me stop here for now.

I beg to conclude by saying that, there’s something about this boy from Magere that we can’t take for granted.

Thank you Mr Chairman.